Wednesday, April 14, 2010
A little story i am working on PT 1
It was her first Christmas alone. Emmalynn had just gotten out of a terrible relationship. The only good thing that came out of her three year relationship with Charles was their baby boy Rylan. Emmalynn was living in a two bedroom apartment in a decent part of town. Her house wasn't the best but it worked for her needs. Emmalynn spent most of her time in the daycare she owned and when she wasn't there she was at home taking care of Rylan. She never went out on dates for her there was only one man worth her time and he didn't even know it. His name was Andrew Hamilton. Emmalynn met him when Charles worked with him before he was discharged from the military. Just the sound of his name sent shivers up her spine. From the first day she met Andrew, there was just something about him she couldn't get out of her mind. And she really didn't want to.
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I like it..
ReplyDeleteSome constructive criticism?
In the beginnning it sounds like you say her name a bit too much. Maybe through in some Her's or She's you know? Or change the sentences around so it doesn't start w/ her name...
I think you should post the story here as you write it and then you'll have it on a safe spot and I can help!!
Ok....thanks i thought at first i was saying he and she too much so i did more of her name.....but i will change it thanks
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